Landlord For Hire

Verse 1: You’ll need at least a master’s in not giving a shit And two years of experience in being a dick Your references are people who would all like you to die You charge them a fortune, and yet you still wonder why Chorus: Land-lord for hire, start-ing today Sit on your ass, while you get paid! Don’t answer their phone calls and don’t you fix a thing Team players of one: we’re hiring! Verse 2: You don’t need to interview or pass a background check You don’t a resume, that’s too much to expect As long as you don’t care about your fellow man at all You got the job! Please expect a call! REPEAT CHORUS Bridge: Does your heart pump ice instead of blood? Is your face tattooed with a scowl? Is your brain filled with brilliant ways To fuck them more somehow? Verse 3: Let them eat asbestos, let them shiver in the cold That leak can drip forever, and let’s go grow that mold Don’t let those peasants unionize, or you’re shit out of luck When they learn how you’re screwing them you